when obtaining a visa gets a little more complicated than planned and when a nocturnal animal lives in my bedroom walls, i sometimes feel like this...

aubrey and i were talking today while we made lunch about how sometimes among christians, being a missionary can be be idealized. especially when you're a missionary in europe. i mean, goodness...do i really get to call hanging out with teenagers in a gorgeous european city my job? but the thing is, glamour rarely has anything to do with it.  you can spend all day speaking in baby-english (or czech) in order to communicate with a student that can easily learn some silly game in english class, but maybe has no interest in knowing God. you can think "if i was in the states i could be connecting on a way deeper level with someone"...or even "if i went to africa, i could be feeding starving people." but the thing is, if this is where God wants you, in this beautifully melancholy country, all your efforts add up to be way more than if you were elsewhere. in the words of aubrey "i want what is honest. not idealized."